Five Rules Never To Be Broken - #3

November 2006

Volume 9 Issue 11

Aibudo Kanji
Picture of Shihan

They will listen, and if both you and they are willing to accept some criticism, thoughts and/or ideas, you will be the better for it.  All anyone needs sometimes, is just a trusting friend to talk to.  That talk, can be the best "Zanax" you ever got and it's free.  In this case, it could be habit forming in a positive sense.  At times, it may just be work, that is "driving you up the wall" and a few moments of venting, makes things all better again.  A martial arts system can be the best venting tool that you can have.  "What's said there, stays there", is extremely important when it comes to discussing your most personal thoughts and concerns.  A martial arts dojo, is an excellent place to "fess up" to your weaknesses and/or concerns without worrying about a humiliation to go along with it. 

     Master Wissler has said over and over, what Bruce Lee once said.  That being, "a punch is a punch and a kick is a kick".  Punching and kicking in the arts is a very small part of the overall picture.  It is generically accepted that the arts are 90% mental and 10% physical.  As my martial arts career has advanced, I have come to believe that the ratio is even greater than that.  We have to be physically fit and have proper technique, but that can be acquired pretty quick.  It is the mental's, that are the most difficult to acquire.  Never-the-less they will become better and better with time.  It is these mental's, or the lack there of, that can become extremely humiliating and cause many practitioners to drop out of participation.  Here again is where your martial arts family, is there for aid and support.  Your weaknesses are never made fun of or laughed at.  They are only strengthened through the camaraderie, that is only present in a true martial arts system.

     In the outside world, it is not prudent to appear weak or in need of assistance.  The martial arts is a place where we are to admit to and show our weaknesses and accept the readily available help to improve on them.  Here again is where the male ego, in the beginning, seems to get in the way.  Once we get over that, the strength required to face everyday events becomes stronger and stronger.  Before long, an apprehension that you may have had in a situation, seems to have faded more towards a confidence.  In stead of consciously worrying about showing apprehension, you end up unconsciously radiating a very forward and truly confident attitude. This comes from admitting your not quite perfect or "the toughest guy on the block" and allowing your martial arts "friends" to admit to the same.  Together, you will all become better and better and closer to that invulnerable "mister tough guy", that you would rather be.  It won't come over night, but it will come.  The more you are able admit, that you don't know this or that, understand this or that or wish you were better than this or that, that you will be better, than this or that.  The result of admitting a weakness to your martial arts family over time, will make you stronger both physically and mentally.  You will eventually acquire the Musashi strategy known as "the commander and his troops".  You will truly feel that you are now in control of most situations without becoming "unglued".  You will become more and more independent and as a result, in some degree, more in control of your own destiny.  Instead of "needing" assistance, you will appreciate it instead.  There is a great difference.

     Anyone and everyone who has been in the arts for a short time, should be aware of the "Hwarang Code" and "The Five Rules Never To Be Broken".

     There are times when "rule #3" is the most important.  The only problem with that rule, particularly among the male population, is pride and/or ego.  It may not be true in all cases, but whenever a very personal situation arises, we tend to want to "bottle up" our feelings, so as not show how we really feel.  As males, we don't want to show any sign of weakness or the inability to handle, this or that.  The problem is, that in many cases, we just don't have enough answers to work through what we may be up against.  Our families are always there, but……  I really don't want to expand on that, because each of us have our own "families" and their responses and reactions to this problem or that.  What I do want to dissertate about, is "trust and brotherhood among friends".  That is rule number 3.  Most generally true friends are just that.  They may not agree with what you did, what someone thinks you did, or how you feel about a certain thing, but they won't "leave you" because of it.  When even families have turned their backs on you, your "friends" are still there.  That said, here's the rub.  Even though we are very well aware of our friends, we may be too "embarrassed" or wonder what they will think, if we turn to them for help or an opinion.  We would rather "hibernate".  That is a tremendous mistake.  True friends will never "accept the obvious", or insinuation and turn their backs on you.  I have found, when you need to "vent", the martial arts family is always there.  Inside they may agree or disagree, but never-the-less, they are still there.